:: don't read unless you like eavesdropping ::

I just read my x's blog. Didn't expect to end up there but I did. Learned all about the new girlfriend and about how she's 'everything I wasn't'. You know what? Good for him. Meanwhile, I'm not feeling too hot anymore. *Should have found a newspaper.*

God, I feel like such a fool. Not because I lack self esteem, but because I compromised so much without ever realizing it. I can only blame myself. And my heart still listens to the taunting laughter that mocks my foolishness. Forgive me. Its so hard to ignore sometimes. Its even harder to accept that the best parts of me were overlooked. In a way I sort of wish it never happened, but then what lessons would I have missed?

I think the worst part is knowing that I wasted so much in that relationship. I know without a doubt that I was ready to be in one, I just chose the wrong guy. Having a heart that longs so badly for the real thing doesn't seem to help much either. God, my dream seems so dead now. What ever happened to that prince? Why did I give him up? I used to pray for him. Expect him. Now?...

You want my thoughts of inadequacy? The rejection and hurt too? Sure. They're really not working for me anyways. Here, You can hold my heart too. I trust You with it. For now I'll sit alone with my dreams and try to restore the prince I once believed in, and... wait.